


the backward game of you and i

by orphan_account



Category: Carry On Series - Rainbow Rowell, Simon Snow & Related Fandoms
Genre: Ace agatha, Angst, Baz pov, Canon Divergence, F/F, Fake Relationship, Friends to Enemies to Lovers, Gay Baz Pitch, Hunger Games, Hunger Games AU, M/M, Possible smut, Simon POV, SnowBaz, Trans Shepard, Yearning and Pining, baz is yearning, bi simon snow, but fluff too, buts its really not fake for either of them, ill update the tags later, lesbian side characters, lots of them - Freeform, side character deaths, snowbaz au
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-09-07
Updated: 2020-09-15
Packaged: 2021-03-07 02:15:01
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 3,132
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26339350
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: simon snow was no hero.he didn't want to be anybody's protagonist, or knight in shining armour. he never yearned for the spotlight, like so many of his colleges in the mines always had. but somehow, through whatever bad luck must be punishing him for the cursed sins he committed in his past life, he discovers quickly that he does not a choice in the matter.after volunteering to take the place of his best friends youngest brother in the 75th annual hunger games, simon finds himself scared and alone in the glamorous, foreign world of the capital; the only familiar face one filled with sharp cheekbones and a large nose, framed with long ivory hair. he thought he'd never get to see that cursed, beautiful face ever again but now - it may be the only thing that can keep him alive.. . .basically - a snowbaz hunger games au because there isn't one in the fandom and i couldn't help myself
Relationships: Tyrannus Basilton "Baz" Pitch & Simon Snow, Tyrannus Basilton "Baz" Pitch/Simon Snow
Comments: 6
Kudos: 16





	1. Chapter 1

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hi lovelies, thank you for reading!! i hope you enjoy yourself :) please let me know your thoughts in the comments, whether they are positive or not <3
> 
> this is just a short introductory chapter, sorry, things will get a lot longer and (obviously) more intense when we get into the traing and the games...
> 
> i'm really sorry if either simon or baz feel out of character, i really did try my best :,) 
> 
> oh! and i just thought i should let anybody who is curious know that bailey is NOT trixies love interest in this fic. bailey is an OC of mine, feris will be showing up shortly for trixie do not fret
> 
> and finally - although this IS a hunger games au i will unfortunelty have to change a few things for the plot to work, namely being the fact that the different districts are actually allowed to see one another, and this is why baz knows si

**SIMON**

i’ve never been a hero. 

never been special, or different. i’m not the protagonist of anybody's story, like some kind of chosen one - i’m just a boy. a poor boy raised in the mines who, as of right now, is shuffling restlessly in the thick crowd, which stood in heavy silence at the town square, waiting for fiona to arrive and pull those two unlucky names from the clear bowls located on the stage in front of them all. 

as i’m raking my eyes over the boys around me, attempting to see if there were any that may stand even the smallest chance of winning the games (the answer, as per usual, is no), i hear a heart-wrenching whimper, thick with fear, from below me. 

glancing down, i see it's coming from pacey, penny's little brother, who i promised her i would watch over today. though her and i, at age 17, may have grown used to the reaping day nerves after being in the pool of candidates for so long, i still remember how unbearable the first year is. 

though children still frankly may both terrify and confuse me, after living in the crowded bunce household for so many years, i’ve picked up a few tricks along the way. 

“hey, hey, pacey, buddy.” i bend down, so my face is level with his. “i know it's scary but i promise you, you’re not going into those games, alright? there’s no way you’re gonna get picked. it's your first year, your names only in there once, remember? you’re not going anywhere it'll be okay.” 

“pinky swear?” pacey asks, his brown eyes, a shade so identical to penny's its eery, wide and shiny with tears. 

“pinky swear.” i nod, wrapping my strong finger around pacey’s smaller, shaking one. 

“welcome, welcome, welcome!” a posh voice, which i immediately recognize as fionas, says cheerfully into the microphone on stage, forcing me to stand up and tear my gaze from pacey's and direct it there instead. 

“happy hunger games! and may the odds be ever in your favour!” she continues, giving the same speech she does every year. however, i still barely manage to hold in a laugh at the sheer stupidity of it and find myself, as i always do, looking over at penny where she stands with the girls, and mouthing along with fiona mockingly. it really is quite the event of habit. 

after shoving the standard video attempting to justify why the president and the capital still find it necessary to send literal children into a death arena to kill each other as punishment for a war none of them or their parents were even alive for down everyone's throats, she gets down to business. 

“right! let's start with the girls, shall we?” she asks excitedly, as if any of them could answer. what were they going to do? say no? 

she glides gracefully in her heels (which defiantly cost more then i’ve ever made in my entire life) over to one of the bowls. 

“and the female tribute from district 12 this year is…” her hand reaches into the bowl, and it feels as though the entire crowd draws in a shaky breath collectively. “trixie fairchild!” 

shit. 

_shit._

i turn my head, as everyone else does, to look at trixie. she’s frozen on her feet, a look of disbelief on her pretty face and her girlfriend, bailey, is already sobbing beside her. 

i think of the days at school - before i dropped out to work full time in the mines - sneaking out of math with trixie, bailey and penny to steal any food we could from the markets and having makeshift picnics together with it, out in the meadow. i think of one day, specifically, right after the two of them had finally gotten together and bailey laid with her head in trixie's lap and made daisy chains for her as she played with her hair. i complained for so long about how i wished i had a boyfriend to be that cute with until they all got sick of it and yelled at me to shut up. 

now, trixie quickly pulls herself together, turning to bailey and cupping her soft face with her equally soft hands as she wipes away the tears streaming down her face. i’m too far away to possibly hear what they are saying to one another but, from the way bailey nods so passionately and trixie kisses her so fiercely, i assume they’re words filled with emotion, with promises both of them know can’t be kept. 

“hurry it along now please, girls!” fiona says with a (very poorly executed) fake laugh and attempt at a casual tone. 

once trixie has finally climbed the side stairs and joined fiona, receiving a dramatic hug, she beams and moves to the other bowl. 

“alright, now - time for the boys!” she all but sequels, clapping her hands happily. “and, our male tribute for district 12 this year is…pacey bunce!” 

“no. no fucking way.” i think but must say aloud too, because i hear it leave my mouth. 

my ears are ringing, but i can still hear the pained cries and shouts from penny and her parents. 

“simon.” pacey looks at me in disbelief, tears returning to his eyes. “simon, you promised me i wouldn’t have to go. you pinky swore it!”

“i know, i know i did, pacey. and i keep my promises.” i tell him, already knowing what i have to do. 

“what? what do you mean, si?” he asks, the confusion clear on his innocent features. 

wrapping him in a tight hug, i whisper in his ear. “look after penny for me, okay? please? and tell your parents thank you - for everything. i owe you guys so much. i hope this is enough…” 

putting him down, and stepping out into the makeshift path between where the boys and girls are being separated before he has time to question me more, i yell at the cameras behind fiona, with as much volume and confidence as i can muster. 

“i volenter!” there are gasps around me, but i don’t waver. 

“i volenter as tribute.” 

**BAZ**

simon snow is a fucking hero. 

like, the would give his life for you without a second thought even if you’d never spoken before kind of hero. and i hate him for it. but it also made it very, very hard to stop falling even deeper in love with him. 

the fucking bastard. 

as i sit on the train making its way at alarming speed toward the capital (and, in hand, my inevitable demise) watching him volunteer for the young boy i find myself, not for the first time, cursing him for it. 

up until now the whole being in love with him thing had been inconvenient, yes, as not only were we separated by districts but also by the fact he happened to be painfully, obnoxiously heterosexual. but this - both being tributes in the game - was a whole new level of after school special angst. honestly, i don’t know if i could possibly make the situation more pitiful if i tried. 

“well, isn’t that just beautiful!” our escort, ebb gasps at the trains tv from beside me, dabbing her eyes theoretically with a lace handkerchief from the pocket of her gown. 

“its bloody stupid.” agatha, the pretty blonde girl from my classics class, huffs from beside me. “he knows there’s no possibility he’ll win, not against us and the other career districts. kid must have one hell of a hero complex.” 

although the comment writing off snows bravery so carelessly makes my blood boil, i manage to cling to whatever self-control i have and keep my mouth shut. 

i can’t give anything away. not to agatha, not the other district tributes, not to the capital. 

i know what im going to do. what i need to do. 

im going to go into that arena and make sure snow is the one who leaves it.  



	2. Chapter 2

**SIMON ******

********

_“the silent treatment? really, snow?” i hear an amused voice ask from just behind me, lips so close to my ear i can feel his breathe there. strong arms wrap around my waist but i move to swat them away. ___

**____ **

_“no. nope. absolutely not. no cuddles for you, basilton! cuddles are for people who didn’t eat the last sour cherry scone.” ___

**______ _ _ **

_“it wasn’t me, you imbecile. i don’t even like those silly little scones you hold so dear.” ___

**________ _ _ _ _ **

_“well then - where did they go, basilton? did they just disappear into thin air? hm? i don’t think so.” i huff, nose high in the air. ___

**__________ _ _ _ _ _ _ **

_“for crowleys sake snow, ill buy you a goddamn dozen of the blasted things if it will make you shut up about them for two seconds.” ___

**____________ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ **

_“wait, really?!” i ask, spinning around on the bed with a beam to face baz, who nodded with a regretful sigh. ___

**______________ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ **

_“thank you, thank you, thank you!” i exclaim, grabbing his face between my palms and covering it with kisses all over. ___

**________________ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ **

_“you're a child. a literal child. why are we dating again?” he groans, the corner of his lip twitching. ___

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_that isn’t enough though, and i have certainly never been one to back down from a challenge. even one as difficult as making baz pitch laugh. ___

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_“say it again, pitch.” i threaten and he raises a perfect eyebrow, something i have always been jealous he could do so well. ___

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_“gladly. simon snow - you. are. a. child." ___

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_“ah, you’ll regret that, pitch!” i cry and dive in, tickling him in all the spots that i know, after months of meeting like this, that he is most sensitive in._

**_________________________ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ **

_after tickling him for a few minutes, until baz is so weak from laughter there are tears streaking down his face, i finally let up and we flop back onto the mattress. ___

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_we face each other with drunk smiles and giddy laughs, and i reach my hand out to tuck some of the black hair that has fallen loose behind his ear, keeping it there afterward it play with the strands softly. ___

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_he tangles our legs together and intertwines my other free hand with one of his own. ___

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_“you truly are insufferable.” he whispers but his eyes are soft and filled with more love than i could have ever imaged anybody would feel for me. ___

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_“i love you too, baz.” ___

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i wake suddenly, bolting up and nearly falling off of the coach as the train turns a sharp corner. 

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“you still dream about him, don’t you? you said his name in your sleep.” trixie asks me from the chair opposite me she’s perched in as i steady myself, a sympathetic look on her face. 

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for a moment, i’m confused, but then the days events come flooding back. 

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right. i’m not in baz’s bedroom play fighting and sharing ‘i love yous’, i’m on a train hurtling towards the capital, only days away from being thrown into the arena. 

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“i can’t remember the last time i didn’t dream about him, trix.” i mutter in response, knowing there’s no use in trying to lie to her about baz - she was one of the few people who we had trusted enough to share the full extent of our relationship with. 

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“si…i don’t even know what i can say to help make it better, i wish i did. i know that i can tell you he loved you - still loves you - but honestly, i don’t know if that makes it better or worse. just know that neither of you were at fault, alright? you couldn’t have changed his dads mind.” 

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“yeah…yeah, i know, trix. thanks.” 

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after a beat of awkward silence, the country side flashing at the train carriage windows in a hurried haze, trixie speaks up again. 

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“bailey and i broke up, you know? at the reaping.” she says, and my mouth slacks open so far in shock it practically hits the gold carpeted floor. 

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“you _what?” _i try my best to keep my tone neutral, but i don’t think i do very well.__

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“mhm.” she nods lightly, leaning forward to grab a tea cake off of the table near her as she does so.

__

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crowley, how did i not spot that before? 

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after grabbing my own share of tea cakes and, of course, an inhumane amount of the various different scones available, i turn back to trixie with an expectant look. 

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“well?” i prod, when she doesn’t elaborate any futher. 

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“theres not much to it, really. it was the right thing to do. i know there’s no chance of me coming close to winning this thing and - i know that the label doesn’t mean shit, and getting rid of it won’t get rid of our feelings, but i don’t want her to have to watch her girlfriend die. also, i think it’ll make it easier for her to move on afterwards. which is want i want her to do. so…yeah - i ended it.” 

__

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__

“great snakes, trixie.” i murmur. “i mean, wow. are you okay?” 

__

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__

“am i okay? i just broke up with the love of my life because i’m being sent off to a death arena filled with a bunch of other kids trying to kill me, and one of those kids is one of my best friends.” she laughs, but not in a spiteful way. 

__

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“yeah, sorry, dumb question.” i shake my head and laugh along with her. 

__

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__

i mean, they say humour is a way to cope, right? and i guess when you think how fucking ludicrous the whole thing is it is kinda funny.

__

**___________________________________ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ **

__

“thats a fucking brave thing you did though, trix. bloody selfless git, you are. i don’t think i could of. so yeah, i’m proud of you, or whatever.” i tell her softly once we’ve stoped laughing at my stupidity - because i am, and i want her to know it, even if i’m not great at showing it. 

__

**___________________________________ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ **

__

“aw thanks, dingus.” she beams and reaches over to ruffle my hair affectionately. “this is probably the weirdest possible place for a reunion, but i’ve missed you, since you’ve been working in the mines more and everything and its harder to see each other. i’m glad we can spend some time together before i die.” 

__

**___________________________________ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ **

__

i splutter and choke a little on the two sour cherry scones i have currently stuffed in my mouth at the last bit. 

__

**___________________________________ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ **

__

“that sounds right morbid, i know - but its the truth. you’re probably, defiantly, the only good part of this for me.”  
before i can get the chance to reply the sliding door at the front of carriage slams open and fiona strides in. 

__

**___________________________________ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ **

__

“hello, hello, my tributes! how are we feeling?” she exclaims, hands moving at lightning speed n a multitude of different dramatic expressions, and moving on before either of us have the opportunity to reply. 

__

**___________________________________ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ **

__

“i see you’ve already taken it upon yourself to eat, so i don’t need to worry about that.” she says with a judgement laced tone, looking me pointedly up and down and lingering at my mouth, where four of the mini date scones are being chewed. i just smile at her around them. 

__

**___________________________________ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ **

__

“right, lets watch the other districts reaping ceremonies whilst we wait to arrive at the capital, shall we?” she asks, again not actually waiting for a reply. instead, she somehow pulls a floating screen out from the table and sits down in one of the chairs close to trixie. 

__

**___________________________________ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ **

__

the capital logo appears briefly before cutting to the district 1 town square. 

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**___________________________________ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ **

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i know i should be worried because that’s his district and his town square and his name somewhere in that bowl, but i’m not. 

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its a careers district, no body is getting picked unless they want to be. anybody who doesn’t wish to go is far too wealthy to need to put their names in more then once for reward and the ones that they train up in the school, who actually dream about being in the games (sick bastards), are put in there as many times as they see fit. 

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it will be one of the latter being chosen, and baz has never been one of those. his deranged father may have wished it upon him, but his mother had always saw to it that if baz did not wish to participate he would not be forced to. 

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ebb - the oldest and the kindest of all of the escorts which all the child of the capital and the districts alike have grown up loving - glides up the steps towards the microphone. 

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“hello, everyone! i hope it has been a blesseded year for you all, since i stood up here last.” she opens warmly, as she always does. 

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“okay, lets begin! starting with the boys this year!” she smiles comfortingly down at the boys side of the crowd as she moves to the bowl containing their names. 

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quickly snatching the piece of paper at the very tip of the pile up, she hurries back to the mic. 

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“alrighty! this year, the male tribute for district 1 will be…” she pauses dramatically as she opens the slip of parchment, and the crowd is so silent you can practically hear the collective inhale of breathe through the screen. “tyrannus basilton grimm-pitch! my, what a name! come on up, my dear.” she invites as kindly as possible and beckons with her arm.

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the cameras move and find him in the crowd, zooming in on his face which, to the average viewer, looks perfectly calm - but to somebody like me who has spent hours on hours figuring out what every tiny bit of that face means and how to read it, the panic and fear he works so hard to hide between those neutral features is clear as day. after standing frozen for a moment, he composes himself and makes his way up to ebb. gracefully, of course. everything he does is graceful. 

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my ears are ringing. my heads spinning. my heads pounding at an alarming rate. 

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i think im having a panic attack. 

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i try to breathe, my the air gets caught in my throat and won’t move to my lungs. 

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im defiantly having a panic attack. 

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no. no fucking way. how is it possible? how the _fuck _did _baz _of all people get chosen?____

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hes wicked smart, from a good family, rich. he’s got this big, bright fucking future ahead of him. he was supposed to be safe. 

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“he was supposed to be safe!” i say it allowed this time, involuntarily, voice thick with emotion. trixie jumps out of her seat and starts rushing towards me, ready to comfort me. that, and bazs perfect face, is the last thing i see before i faint and everything goes black.

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**Notes for the Chapter:**

> who says baz is the only dramatic gay in this duo?? simon is allowed to have his own diva moment and faint over his ex ;)
> 
> again - not really much happening today, just some insight into baz and simons relationship (which was so much fun to write hehe) and also some cute friendship stuff with trixie and simon too!! thanks for reading <3


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